Since I last came on here my whole world has been turned upside down and just for good measure; shaken and tossed around a little bit excessively. My head is still spinning!

Nothing that you can physically or mentally do will prepare you for the day you recieve a telephone call from a loved one giving you heart breaking news, not knowing the full meaning of the phone call until it’s too late.

I still cannot get to grips with what happened. It feels like I am in a dream and do not know how to wake up.
Sometimes in a haze or feeling lost. Does that make sense?

I did not think this was appropriate “blogging” material, but my friend advised me that blogs are for anything and everything.  It does not matter what it’s about. On the plus side it might make me feel a little better writing about it.

8 months ago I lost my best friend and my soul mate. My mum.
I have never had to deal with bereavement before; I have never lost anybody close to me.

I have not had time to grieve, a few weeks after my mum passed away, my dad became very ill and have spent the last 8 months trying to keep his head above water, so to speak.

On the plus side, he is now on the road to recovery even after the apalling treatment from the hospital.
So maybe now I can try and deal with what has happened.

My mum is my hero, she is a fantastic woman who never thought of herself, would do anything for you if you asked her to and always did her best to bring me up.

I’ve never felt so lost and alone before. I miss her telling me that it’s half way through the week and it will nearly be the weekend, I miss her telling me about all the new family members she has found while doing the family tree and more than anything, I miss her telling me that she loves me.

My security blanket has gone.  

Even after 8 months, it still feels like yesterday when it happened. No words can describe the pain I feel or the sensation of loss that comes over me when I see her empty chair or when certain things trigger memories.

This will be the first year that I am dreading Christmas, it will be hard. But I have to stay strong for my dad.

My husband and I brought our wedding forward from July this year to September last year because of the fears for my dads health.

Who would have known that my mum was also really ill.

 I’m so happy that she was at my wedding. I can look back at the day with fondness knowing that my mum and my dad were at my side. 
 
My mum found out she had Small Cell lung Cancer a week before she died. Everything happened so fast.
None of us knew the extent of what was wrong until the evening she was taken in to the hospital.  It came as a shock to us all.

Life is too short and all the good people are taken too soon.

If I could give one piece of advice to people it would be to cherish every moment you have with your parents.

Nothing exciting has happened really.
All work and no play at the moment. Especially with Christmas only 5 weeks away! Can you believe it?!

I do actually have a night out planned for this Saturday with the girls in work which I am really looking forward to, also the Christmas work night out which I am looking forward to even more.
I have found that not many people look forward to the work night out but I will be there with my camera ready to snap all the drunken antics!! So hopefully it will be a good night.

The husband and I went up to Liverpool a few weekends ago to see my mum and dad. That was nice.
We hadn’t been up to see them since the wedding which now seems such a long time ago!
It’s nice to think back to the day and remember how lovely it was and how much I enjoyed being the centre of attention.

Unfortunately I have not had any will power over the past few weeks and my diet and excercise regime went out of the window; but tomorrow is another day, I have decided not to beat myself up over it and just start again tomorrow. I am joining a local gym next Friday when i’ve been paid which should help me see the results more quickly. My first goal date is going to be 1st August 2010. And hopefully by then I would have lost quite a bit of chub for our holiday.

One of the main questions I have been asking myself the past few days is Weight Watchers, Rosemary Connolly,  or Slimming World?

I have weighed up the pro’s and con’s and decided to go for the WW’s option. I lost nearly 2 stone on this diet before so I am hoping it will work again.

So, tomorrow is D Day and I need to put all my heart and soul into this. Otherwise it will be another failed attempt.

Another thing I have decided is to get myself a career. I dislike having a dead-end job that is going nowhere (apart from driving me up the wall). I want something rewarding and that I enjoy doing.
I can’t take 2 year’s out of work to go to Uni unfortunately, so I think a night course or home course might work.

But the question is; what career do I want? Where do I see myself in 10 years time?
I definitely do NOT see myself working in a call centre meeting unrealistic targets and that’s for sure!

Ooh nearly forgot! The hubby and I have been given tickets to go and see Graham Norton’s new show! I can’t wait.
Will be a nice evening out.

The hubby also wants to take me to the cinema next week and I really don’t know what to see. I’m kind of swaying towards 2012. It looks awesome but I still want to see the new Saw!

Well I think that’s all from me tonight. Just a little update of the goings on in my little world.

Sunday night, the time where there is no point doing anything other than go to sleep.
Only because of that fact that you will be absolutely shattered for work in the morning.

I don’t know where the weeks are going lately, it’s flying by so fast.

It only seemed like yesterday when it was the beginning of this week!

Bleh I don’t know… So yeah, same old for me this week. Work all week, because I was silly enough to not save any of my holidays, which means I have no holidays until the 1st April.

Me and the hubby have decided to go away in April, we are looking at Rome at the minute. I’m not really into beach holidays, I like cultural places with things to do and see. Not just laying on the beach turning into a lobster and not being able to sleep for a week.

So for us it means a good few months of saving… Yet again!! I don’t think we’ve had a month where we have been straight since February! But it should be fun anyway.

I was going to do a little paragraph on xfactor.. But seeing as those 2 idiots got through to next week, I don’t think I will bother wasting my time.

My brother in law is flying back out to America tomorrow for just over 2 weeks. I really wish I could fit into his suitcase! Really not looking forward to the next few months in work since they brought all different targets in.
You think you just get settled in your routine at work and then someone has to throw a spanner in the works.

Any way this is just a little rant while the hubby is watching Ricky Gervais on some comedy sketch.

Before I go into all the details of this weekend, i’ll do a quick update of the past week.

To be perfectly honest nothing exciting had really happened. Work was the S.S.D.D. Which is to be expected and probably the same for everyone else.
I managed to somehow lose 2lb’s without even trying! Was really shocked because I was not expecting it.

I believe that if you have to sit and think about things that happened over a weeks period then it’s really not worth mentioning so I will go straight into this weekend!

I’m still grinning like a Cheshire cat thinking about it!

Friday night was full of drunken fun and frolics with the girls from work. Lots of dancing and chatting.
I don’t think I’ve had that much to drink in a long time, it was a fantastic night and it was worth the hangover the next morning.

I wish I could start this paragraph with “Saturday morning” but I didn’t surface till gone midday. I prefer getting up early during the weekends so the days seem longer but never mind!

So… Saturday me and the hubby eventually got out of bed and went for a nice chinese meal before heading off on a 10 mile hike to Wembley Arena from where we live to see the amazing Michael McIntyre.

Firstly I would like to recommend that if you are thinking of going to see a comedy show, please go and see him. You will not be disappointed. I don’t think I stopped laughing once through his entire show.
Definitely worth the money and was a fantastic evening, thats a little break from the normal routine.

The only disappointing fact of Saturday night was the 3 mile walk from the train station to the arena. But apart from that I would do it all over again tomorrow if I could.

Sunday was mostly spent in bed, cleaning, ironing and baking, the usual.

So all in all I had a fantastic weekend that I wanted to share with everyone that reads my blog.

Am I right to assume that the majority of people have been watching xFactor?

I was disappointed with the choices that Cheryl, Simon and the Louis made.

Why on earth didn’t Simon put Tracey through?? She could have won that show with her arms tied behind her back.
Cheryl did exactly the same which was shocking and Louis… i’m not even going to go there.

Anyway! With all the excitement of xFactor and everything else that has been going on I somehow failed to see that there is a Saw 6!!?? And it’s in the cinema on the 23rd October. When was this snuck in? And why have they only decided to tell people now?

I really don’t see how this film is going to be any different to the other 5, but I’m a sucker for a horror movie so will be going to see it.

Well it’s back to work for me, my lunch time is over. Why does the whole day drag but your dinner hour seem to fly by?

Oh well, no rest for the wicked.

I wish I was young again….

When you could run to where your best friend lived and spend all day long pretending to be
She-ra, saving the world from… god knows what..

When you watched TV for fun, not to escape from reality.

When things were pure and innocent, because you didn’t know any better.

When a game of marbles “for keeps” was the most exciting thing going on.

When stoppit and tidyup was a programme about plasticine monsters narrated by Terry Wogan and not a complaint from your parents.

When Cosmo and Dibs were well cool.

Before “friends” was an annoying rhetoric for the american dream.

Before Gary Wilmot’s career was over.

When Timmy Mallet wasn’t just an idiot with a hammer.

When you didnt need a mobile phone.

When The Worst Witch and Meg and Mog was our Harry Potter.

When collecting Pog’s was the “cool” thing to do.

When yo-yo’s entertained us for longer than 2 minutes.

When Weeble’s wobbled but didnt fall down.

When Spectrum’s where as good as PSP’s are now.
(Even when loading a game took 12 minutes! And that was fast!)

When Keeper’s where the best thing a girl had to a bank account.

When you thought having a boyfriend/girlfriend was disgusting.

When you could remember everything, whether it happened or not.

When 20 seemed ancient.

When the 6 weeks of the summer holidays dragged and seemed to go on for ever.

When playing with toys and talking to yourself wasnt seen as some sort of social disorder.

When Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny really did exist.

When hate meant fear.

When you could have a different best friend every week.

When you could set up galactic wars between Autobots and Decepticons.

When no matter how hard you tried, you could never beat the Rubik’s Cube.

When getting up at 6am of a weekend to watch Snorks, Sharky & George, Captain Caveman, Top Cat, Dungeons & Dragons and The Animaniacs was normal.

When owning Jelly shoes made you cool.

When wanting to be a Goonie was what you and all your friends wanted.

When you owned an extensive collection of Cabbage Patch Kids and trolls.

When you could breakdance, or wished you could.

When you would sit by the radio for hours to record your favourite songs on cassettes.

When Poltergeist actually freaked you out.

When you wanted to have an alien like Alf living in your house.

When you believed that “By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power”

When partying “like it’s 1999″ seemed SO far away!!

When Swatch Watches were “in”.

When biker shorts underneath a short skirt felt stylish. (haha)

I could go on forever.
If i’ve missed anything let me know…

Today hasn’t been to bad really, haven’t ate any rubbish so to speak.

I decided to make the hubby a nice chocolate cake! I had a bite and was so tempted to have some more but managed to control my temptation.

This weekend, me and the hubby are going to set up a joint bank account which may sound boring to a lot of people, but it’s really exciting for me! We are also going paint shopping. The kitchen in our flat is a really nasty pea colour. We didn’t get round to decorating it so tomorrow thats what we’ll be doing.

Also X Factor will be on! Can’t miss boot camp!
There is only one thing about X Factor that annoys me; once the live shows start, you know Christmas is around the corner!

I need to get myself some healthy snacks to have when me and the hubby are cuddled up on the sofa watching tv.

I started my Christmas shopping on Wednesday. I havent even done our Christmas list yet.
Love buying people gifts, I just hate watching my bank balance decrease during then process.

Was looking on the internet for camera’s.
I am really into photography, but can’t seem to find a decent camera thats affordable.
When me and the hubby can afford one, I will have something else to do that will keep me occupied.

Well that is all thats happened to me today.
I really need a new job before I snap!

I’ve got a busy weekend next week.

Night out with the girls next Friday, and London + Michael McIntyre on Saturday. Yay!

I was so good today on my healthy eating escapade until I got home.
The hubby works really long hours, I get home usually around 6.00pm and he gets in around 8.00pm.
So meal times are usually a bit later than I would like. I was so hungry I put a lasagna in the oven.
We were supposed to have a nice healthy possibly burnt chicken stir fry…

So on a whole today has been quite good, and to make everything even better it’s Friday tomorrow!

Has anyone seen the film trailers for Fame? I really want to go and see it this weekend.

Anyway will do a proper blog tomorrow, up early in the morning!

At least he didn’t go to work with 2 odd shoes on like I did yesterday!! Felt like an idiot all day, but managed to amuse a few people.
It’s nice being able to brighten up peoples days at my own expense haha.

I wonder what the day has in store… I can tell already it’s going to be “another one of those days” just by looking at my managers face…

Hide the chocolate!!!!

Does anyone else find it hard to stick to any kind of diet when your so stressed with work!?
Today I found it really hard not to re-enact the mission impossible squirrel advert (back in the day!) and escape out of the window to the shops to buy a nice big bar of Dairy Milk!!

Ok so I might be exaggerating just a little bit but i’m sure you get the picture.

It really has been one of those days but I have managed to be really good today.

I went shopping tonight with the hubby to good old Sainsburys.
They had quite a lot of offers on, which all seemed to revolve around chocolate and fatty foods… Not good!

We opted for healthy vegetable and chicken stir-frys, whole meal bread and fat and sugar free jelly, amongst other things.

Who says this shopping for healthy food malarkey is hard muhaha.
It’s just a real shame that neither me or the hubby are masterchef’s. He tends to under cook and I tend to burn just about everything in the kitchen.

I’m sure we’ll eventually come to some sort of happy medium, or if anyone wants to share any tips with me please feel free! Any advice will be much appreciated.

Well I think that’s about it from me tonight, it’s really late and I have to be in work early in the morning.
Hmmmm what delights could I take to work for snacks that are not calorie laden?

Bye for now!

It beats writing a diary and getting writers cramp!!

The past 2 years for me has gone by in a blur, i’ve done things I never thought I would ever do.
I left my friends, family and my comfort zone in Liverpool and moved to London to be with the man I love.

It’s really hard being in an area where you don’t know anybody, and people treat you like you are just in their way.

Being honest though, London isn’t really as bad as people make it out to be; I love it down here!

I got married 3 weeks ago, which again is something I never thought would happen!
I had the most fantastic day. Married my best friend and soul mate.
It was worth all the stress leading up to it.

Most brides to be decide to lose weight before their wedding, trust me I tried!
Nothing was working so in the end I gave up.

To my surprise.. on Tuesday this week, not really wanting to; I forced myself to go into Boots and get weighed.

I lost 5lb’s!! I couldn’t believe it.
This has encouraged me to start again.

My will power is going to have to be on top form over the next few months especially with the vast amount of chocolates and selection boxes that will be on the shelves in the shops for christmas!!

I’ve never fully put my heart into losing weight and getting fit.
It’s lasted a few months max and i’ve gone back into my old ways of comfort eating.

This time is different!